How to Generate Endless Referrals

Benjamin Bach is guest blogging for Phil today

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canadians, and to my American friends, Happy Columbus Day ! 

I was very happy to accept Phil’s request for some blogging help this morning.  I have been a daily reader of Make It Great! for a couple of years now and Phil has greatly influenced my own blogging. Over the next few weeks I’ll be sharing some things about relationships, leadership and service. 

This evening, it’s my pleasure to present an interview with Bob Burg.  Bob is a mentor of mine, speaker extraordinaire, relationship guru and best selling author of three books: Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales,  Winning Without Intimidation: How To Master The Art Of Positive Persuasion,  and The Success Formula: Three Timeless Principles That Will Turbocharge Your Success And Dramatically Improve Your Life.  You can find out more about Bob at his website (full of GREAT resources), www.burg.com

Bob is, in my opinion, the world leading expert at generating referrals, no matter what business.  Even if you’re not in business, these principles will increase the number of friends you have, and help you be more valuable to them.   

Read this interview, read it again, and then send it to all your friends, family and clients.  They will thank you for it!

Benjamin Bach: What is the best piece of
actionable advice you can give someone to help them build relationships or
‘network?’

Bob Burg: The first is, begin now. Don’t wait. With that said, next
is to focus on building it correctly. To do this, we first make sure we
understand what networking is. My definition of Networking is simply,
“The cultivating of mutually beneficial, give and take, win/win
relationships.” And the emphasis is on the “give” part. When
done with genuine caring about the other person; their wants, their
needs, their desires, and when following a specific system, a proven
method of operation, it will result in a huge and dramatic increase in your
referral-based business and the number of A-list, high-quality prospects you’ll
obtain.

You’ll need to find people with whom you’d like to
establish these relationships, you’ll then need to meet them and, of
course, to win them over. (Ideally, to create, what I call, “personal
walking ambassadors.”

How do you win them over? You constantly and
consistently add value to their lives. And by – to slightly
paraphrase Wallace D. Wattles in his 1915 classic, “The Science of
Getting Rich – “impressing upon them the fact that by being
associated with you they will have increase of life.”

My mantra when it
comes to networking (and this is certainly nothing new; the saying has been
around for years) is, “All things being equal, people will do business
with, and refer business to, those people they know, like and trust.”
And, there’s no better way to elicit those feelings toward you in others
than by focusing on adding value & increase to their lives. Remember, this is
done before you ask for their business or referrals. Eventually,
you’ll earn the right – and that person will be glad to be a part of your
success.

Benjamin: What is the biggest mistake most
people make when trying to build relationships, or ‘network?’

Bob: I believe there are two major mistakes. The first is
looking for the quick fix. Networking . . . relationship-building is a process.
It doesn’t usually happen overnight. That’s not to say never and/or
in isolated cases, but it cannot be approached that way and work out well on a
consistent, ongoing basis.

The other mistake is being too “I-oriented”
and trying to “get” before you’ve given; before you’ve
added significant value. The Secret of Superstar Networkers begins (though this
is not actually the secret) by understanding that the more you give to others,
in a genuine and caring way, the more abundance that will come back to you. Of
course, the paradox is that you cannot be demanding, or emotionally attached to
the idea of having to receive directly from those to whom you gave. Doing that
will position you negatively, not positively. People will forever be suspicious
of your motives. Instead, just trust that the many seeds of goodwill and
increase you plant will come back to you. They will.

Superstar Networkers,
instead of having the attitude of, “How can the people in my network help
me?” continually ask themselves, “How can I help those in my
network?” Now, the big “secret” is that Superstar Networkers
focus on connecting with other successful givers. And, they tend to refer each
other to those in their network. And, before long, a huge web of Superstar
Networkers is formed, each of whom are focusing on helping the others in their
network. And, while helping the others takes very little in the way of
resources (other than a bit of thought and time), the rewards are so lucrative
you’ll be amazed and delighted.

Benjamin: I am a head over heels believer
in your Feel-Good Questions; I carry them around with me and reread
them before any function I go to. Why do they work so well, and can you
share two or three of them with our readers?

Bob: Thank you, Benjamin. That’s very kind of you to say. The Feel-Good Questions
work so well simply because they take the focus off of you and put it totally
onto the other person, and in such a way that it simply makes the other person
feel good; about themselves, about the conversation, and about you. They are
not prospecting-oriented and they are not intrusive in nature.

They are simple, and they
are fun for the person to answer. This is an excellent way to begin the
rapport-building process and have them begin to sense that you are a bit
different from most others.

Although I have ten “Feel-Good Questions” please
know you’ll never ask all ten in any one conversation. Typically, no more
than two or three is best. Still, they are all good to know depending upon the
person and situation. Let’s look at just two. If you ask only these two
questions you’ll find a remarkable difference in the response you get
from this person as opposed to others in conversations where you spoke mostly
about yourself and your business.

Feel-Good Question number one: "How did you get started in the
‘widget’ business?"  I call this the "Movie-of-the-Week"
question because most people love the opportunity to "tell their
story" to someone.  This, in a world where most people don’t care
enough to want to know their story.  Be sure to actively listen, and be interested.

Feel-Good Question number two: "What do you enjoy most about what
you do?"  Again, something very positive to associate with you and
your conversation.  And, a nice rapport has begun to be established.

Of course, the most powerful question you can ask is what I
call “The One Key Question.” This is not actually one of the
Feel-Good Questions, and should be asked only after the initial rapport has
begun to be established.

The “One Key Question” is, “How can
I know if someone I’m speaking with would be a good prospect for you?" 

Why
is this question so powerful? First, just by asking it you’ve separated
yourself from practically everyone else. It’s the first indication that
you are someone special. You are probably the only person he has ever met who
asked him this question during the first conversation. Or, perhaps during any
conversation . . . ever. You have also just implied that you are
concerned with their welfare and wish to contribute to their success.
Most people would already be trying to sell their own product or service, but
not you. These questions are a good start.

Benjamin: Bob, thanks so much for sharing your wisdom with me and our readers!  Do you have any special bouns offers for us ?

Bob: Thank you, Benjamin; it was a pleasure being your guest. If your
readers would like, they are welcome to view a little three minute video entitled The
True Art of Selling (www.TheArtOfSellingMovie.com),
after which they can have sent to them, with our compliments, a downloadable
version of Chapter One of my book, Endless Referrals.

Remember: Read this interview, read it again, and then send it to all your friends, family and clients.  They will thank you for it!

Benjamin Bach is a speaker, writer and wealth building Realtor in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada.  Benjamin would love to hear from you – please write him at Benjamin AT benjaminbach DOT com. You can find his blog at http://www.KitchenerWaterlooRealEstateInvestments.com