Connecting to people, online and offline, is one of the best ways I know to improve your business, and to improve your life. Frequently when I talk to groups about the power of connections, I’m asked HOW to network.
To me, it’s a natural thing. I love people.
To some, it’s difficult, and a learned trait.
But I’ve thought about what I do, and how I do it, and I thought it might be helpful, for all those who need a little help. None of these are rocket science, they’re just simple, honest tips that work for me.
Know WHY you want to connect to this person – Is it because they are a favorite author of yours, a thought leader in your field, just a cool person, or what is it about them? Let me know that when you reach out, and be honest. If it's just a fan boy/fan girl letter of "Hey, I love your writing" that's great. Be specific about why you want to connect, even if it's just to say thanks for writing a great book or article, or thanks for giving a powerful presentation.
Help FIRST – See what the other person needs and add value to the relationship before you ever ask for help. One of the things I like to do after I attend a seminar is offer an unsolicited testimonial for any speakers that changed my thinking. I’ll email it to them, post it on their LinkedIn profile, or post it up along with a link to their site on my site. And anytime I do that, I make sure and be specific about why I’m doing it, as a thank you for the value they added to my life.
Be authentic – It’s important to be who you really are and most folks will naturally be attracted to that. You won’t attract EVERYONE this way, but those who aren’t attracted to you aren’t folks you want in your network anyway.
Start small, think GREAT – Never underestimate the power of connecting to just 1 person. 1 person can make a HUGE difference in your life. Make it a point to focus on that 1 other person by asking questions about their needs and their wants, and make that 1 relationship GREAT.
Connect others together when appropriate – Now that you know the other person, how about connecting them to someone else they might value knowing? The power of three is more than the power of me! Connect 2 people who don't know each other, share why you think they should connect, and then make the introduction. KEY POINT: Be sure to explain WHY you are making the introduction or folks may feel like you’re stalking them or worse, trying to sell them something.
What are your best tips for connecting with people?
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi, Phil! I just wanted to echo #3 and say how true your words are to who you are. When I first met you at the first SOBCon, you were so accessible and warm, and I came to know pretty quickly that it was the real you. Your genuineness is one of the things that attracts people to you and makes you such a compelling speaker … and wonderful friend.
Thanks so much Tammy. Being the real me is all I have to stand on when all is said and done. I’m glad that comes through as a speaker, and as a friend.
Hi Phil,
This is a great list. Thanks for this post.
Here’s a thought for tips to connect with others:
Remember that most people want to know that you like them before they want to interact with you. So, be really careful that you don’t come across as selfish, self-serving (echoing your help FIRST tip), or rude. Show an interest in the other person BEFORE you expect them to show an interest in you.
Thanks again for your efforts. I’ll be sending a tweet on this one!
I think the second point is a huge one. I don’t know who originally said this quote, but I try to live and work by this:
“People don’t care how much you know, unless they know how much you care.”
So . . . CARE for crying out loud. What kind of a place would the world be if everybody gave a crap.
Great post! Great things to think about.
Thanks for the great post–#3 is so in line with my personal word for the year (yes, also inspired by one of your posts), and I’ve also made a personal commitment regarding relationships. I’m working to reestablish those that have fallen out of touch, and makes some new ones along the way. Thanks so much for the reminder!